My sister's husband always compares her looks, cooking, bringing up kids with me and his sister and thinks that we are better. This breaks her heart. She supports my BIL financially and works hard the whole day yet he wants a "perfect" wife. How does one make him realize her worth?

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This is truly appalling, and I've personally see this issue with a friend's family. The only thing that came to my friend's rescue (who was constantly compared with other women in the family) was herself. She got fed up of her husband comparing her to others and I don't know how she gained the strength, but she finally stood upto him and asked him to stop comparing. She told him that his words were hurtful and how she was contributing equally to their relationship and even taking care of his parents, while he would go out of the city for days on end. The good thing is that she instantly got her MIL's support. In this situation also I would advise the same. Nobody can help you, but yourself. You can only say as much, and you should as well. Correct your BIL when he compares his wife to others. Similarly, your sister should also stop him when he does it to her directly. Trust me, after she corrects him a few times, he won't repeat this again.

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you are the one who will have to take the stand for her and show her true worth to him and the world. if he can't already see that he has the 'perfect' wife, then you will have to point it in his eye and show him. the moment he starts all this, ask him to stop and counter his conversation, telling him with proof what an amazing person, wife and mother your sis is. do this in front of her kids, so that they too realize that their mother is truly amazing and respect her more.

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When he starts the comparison, interrupt his conversation and change the subject. If he still continues, then at least you stand in support of ur sister. Tell all present what a wonderful person she is and how she supports. If he nudges on further then say it out loud that he's a thankless man and such talk is not welcome. At least ur sister will be happy. And really...kudos to her for supporting a such a MCP

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Maybe she should try and tell him that why doesn't he himself tries to do everything the way he likes it alongwith all the things your sister already does and then find out that not every person is the same! He may then realize that things are always easy to say and not everything is just a womans job. Everything nowadays can be handled by both the genders. Tell her to be confident and stand up for herself.

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Hi, i think its his ego that makes him put her down as she is already doing a lot, very few men appreciate their wives doing better then them..if its really bothering ur sister ask her to go for counseling n take him too, a 3rd person perspective will really help n her hubby's underlying issues which make him do all this will also be addressed.

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I think all she needs is support. Every time the husband compares or speaks low of her, all of you together support her in a nice friendly way. Silence can Ben misunderstood so it’s best to make him realise that he is not right and people don’t think like him.

After all the comparing she must be losing her self confidence to stand up to him. You should encourage her and help her get her confidence back so that she can stop him whenever he starts comparing.

You need to confront him and let him know what he is doing is wrong and make him realise how much your sister does for him.