My in-laws have keys to my house. However, they often come unannounced and because we live so close to each other, they visit us everyday and whenever they feel like it. They are both retirees. How do you tell them that we need space. My husband does not speak to them. Whenever they visit, he would be in his study. I have tried dropping all kinds of subtle hints and even obvious ones but they are not taking it. I feel like changing the locks to my house. Any other suggestions?

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I understand where you coming from. Your in laws came to visit you, what do they usually do when they are in the house? You mentioned that your husband will be in his study, he don't even entertain his parents?maybe you can do the same? Stay in his study together with your husband or in your room doing your things? Maybe your in laws have no one to talk to or see no meaning being at your house and they will go? I reckoned changing locks if not a very good idea, as it is literally 'slamming the door shut at their faces' unless you can come out of a very very good reason. The best way is really to get your husband to communicate with them, cause in anyway they won't be angry or mad with their son forever.

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8y ago

Tried staying in the bedrooms or the study. But, no effect. They will stay to watch TV.

if we were to put ourselves in their shoes, we will probably understd them a little more. if u n ur husband are old n retired with nothing to do all day n few friends to visit, wat would u crave most? n if u n ur husband were to visit ur child's hm n he/she locks him/herself into the room when u arrive, how would u feel? it would b gd to hav a talk with ur husband to resolve this. surely some compromise can be reached. we will not always hav our parents/in-laws with us. one day we will be looking at their empty chairs...

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Hmmm, I reckon they feel lonely and since they have the keys and probably think that it's the indication to visit whenever they want. I am sure they mean no Harm. You might wanna tell them that you prefer them to call before coming over just incase you are not in? Your husband can relate the message to them too though, as long as he don't feel trapped between parents and you. Some men won't like to be in between.

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Sounds like an episode of everybody loves Raymond! Can you get the locks changed and give them an excuse that you lost the house keys and you are scared an intruder might come by and rob the house. Then just make sure you never give them the new house keys :)

I think the best way to approach this would be through your Husband. He needs to talk to them, and explain that you and him are a family unit, and not that they aren't welcome, but a phone call beforehand would be nice in case you guys are busy or are out.

Maybe tell them in a nicer way. Another way is purposely go out when they are at your house, like that than they might get the hint. Of course it's not easy but if you think you need the privacy than you would need to try harder.

i understand your situation, sigh :( my mil likes to stayover (without asking or even informing) at my house whenever she likes. i have a spare room with sofa bed. husband is the only son. no choice.

8y ago

and i really don't like how she treats my house like hers. i don't mind her coming over to visit her grandchildren. but what irks me is that she takes it for granted that she can stay whenever she wants. is there something wrong with me? i just wish she w

In olden days, it is the duty of DIL to care for father side parent.. That includes entertainment. I guess things change but your PIL hasn't... guess you can only bridge the gap.

Is it your parents in law prefer the tv /tv channels at your home? It doesn't make sense visiting your home if both of u n your hubby do not talk to them.

Come up with an excuse to change the lock and this time, don't give them the keys.