Postnatal rage

Hi mothers.. Is it normal that after giving birth (my baby currently is 2months old), you’ll easily get rage at certain people when it comes to handling your newborn? It seems like some people don’t respect your decision/gut feelings as a first time mothers. I realised there’s a tension issue going on with my own mother since I gave birth. Firstly, she announced my child’s birth without my permission to almost everyone including her friends when it’s not necessary. Secondly, whenever I asked for a tiny favour eg. Change the baby’s diaper, she’ll complain and as tho “lecturing” to my baby why she kept peeing or pooping. I was triggered that she said that to my baby as isn’t good that if your baby keeps pooping or peeing, means she’s healthy? Lastly, I was informed by the nurse whenever we went for my child’s checkup to have enough rest as a mother and try to get someone to look after the baby for while. So sometimes, when I told my mother if she can look after the baby eg. She’ll complained and said that she was about to rest and sighed. Mind you, she’s not a working mother.. I thought while I’m on maternity leave, I can observe if my mother can really look after my child(she was the one who volunteered to look after my baby). But now, she’s making me having doubts if she is capable to look at my baby. Does anyone experience like this too? Help:( #firstTime_momhere #postpartrumdepression #postpartumanxiety

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hello mummy! it's completely normal !! I was super annoyed with my own mom when baby was around few months old. small thing such as how the diaper was changed / how baby was wiped triggered me... and I had a few arguments with my mom as she voiced out to me that she felt stressed helping me to take care. just fyi my mom is only in her early 50s and when sometimes she said she is tired - I cannot help to think that my in laws who in their 60s never complain at all and they always visit baby after their work and help out.. so I would wonder why my mom complain etc when we paying her to take care and she no need do anything else (e.g. her meals are covered, we got helper to buy for her) , just purely take care of baby (also she quit her job - agreeable on her end).. so many frictions between me and my mom that made me sign up for infant care slot for my baby. but now I think when they say tired, it's just them saying -i just one ear in and another ear out. this is like I complain daily tired to go work but I will still turn up. lol.. . fast forward to my baby now who is around 8mo, i think my mom actually took great care of her..now that infant care slot is available- we dun want to even send her there... thinking to just let my mom take care. it took me very long to actually let go n trust my mom to take care ... I think it took me around 5 months plus lololol ...I started to be grateful and focus on all the positive things that she do for us and baby. my mom too, announced things or tend to complain to friends about me - which I found out, but I think it's their way to share joy or vent...of cos would be nice if they check in with us first but again, maybe it didn't cross their mind that it will offend us and they just speak without thinking much. my mom would also complain to my sister and brother which made me super upset and may break our siblings relationship, I used to be so pissed but then few months later I think at end of day she just want someone to listen to her point of view . really take quite a while for me to let goo...I agree it's really our expectations...I do agree that I want my mom to do it my way. but that makes her stress and I try to put myself in her shoes, I don't want people to mirco manage me also lah hahahah.. I will also feel stress. but yeah sometimes I just couldn't help it but rage at the way she do things. dk is it hormones haywire or what ... i would say now I super appreciate my mom cos it's not easy to take care of baby and she is my mom after all who also had a hard time giving birth to me ...

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2mo ago

Hii omg thank you for taking your time to reply and thank you for sharing your experiences, really need these kind of advises:( yeah initially wanted to send baby to IFC but my area was full and before that my mom told me not to since recently there were few cases on child abuse in childcare etc. so kinda worried:( Well noted, I guess I just need to trust my mom more and yes, try to out myself in her shoes:(

Hey mama! What you’ve described is very understandable. We want the best for our babies and sometimes feel sad when others comment too much on our babies. It’s normal to feel anxious and upset that the help that was promised was not given. I agree with the above comment, you may have to adjust your own expectations of your mother’s ability to help, even though she said she would help. I had no help from both side parents either and to be honest, I wouldn’t be comfortable with the way they will handle my baby, so it’s best to depend on ourselves… Hang in there till it’s time to send to IFC!

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Hi, it’s normal. However after reading your post, I feel like you probably had more expectations since she’s your mom. But always remember, regardless who offered to, they are not obligated to, especially if they are not being paid (my own mother ask for $4K). Best is if you could get help from hubby or do it yourself (I didn’t have any help too, tough but at least I don’t have to bother about others), then send bb to IFC/hire helper when you go back to work.

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