Low sex drive & porn addicted husband

My husband and i married only a year. We have been tgt for almost 5 years. Our sex life was fine when we just started of cause. But past 1-2 years it has declined. It became to the extend where he totally dont crave for any sex at all. So 1 year ago, I brought this matter up and he say because he just want to spent time with me and not jus sex. But i told him healthy relationship require sex and it is normal. He say mayb he stress or tired. When we tried to do it, i realize he may lost his erection halfway or totally cant erect. So i feel that i must be unattractive or is it because i gained some Weight? I became depressed and have anxiety. He went for hormones check he was fine. So we keep trying, there is this 2 times we had sex ( with ejaculation) and i happened to get pregnant. After pregnant, i then realised his phone browser history has lots of porn. He have been watching porn very frequently all along including working hours he cn stay in the toilet to watch. He promise to stop this kind of behaviour but he lied to me over and over again.. Its been a year, my son is born. There is no improvement. And yet again i found out he his still watching during working hrs and still no sex drive at all.. How to save this marriage if he keep lying and do not want to open up to me. If i didnt find out, he will keep deny. I know it is wrong to even check his phone but i do it infront of him. #pleasehelp no negative comments pls..

Anonymous

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Super Mum

Hey dearie, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a difficult time. Regarding you knowing about your husband watching porn, have you spoken to him about it? Does he know how you feel about it? Personally, I feel the first line is always communication between each other. Perhaps he has feelings and thoughts that he may not be letting you in on. Similarly, he may not know how you’re feeling. We tend to feel a lot more as women and be a lot more in touch with our feelings so it may be difficult for him to understand where you’re coming from at first but when you communicate, try to say it in a way that he can understand. As mama Lena has mentioned, it might be a good thing to go for family counseling as there’s a third party to listen to both of you and provide an objective perspective - one that isn’t judgemental nor biased for both of you to address the issues you’re having. Do reach out to someone ya? Your son needs you - and if I might add, I promise you’re not the only one going through this and please don’t for one minute think that you’re all alone in this. It’s a common problem but it’s just that we don’t talk about it often enough. I commend you for your bravery and courage to voice this out and to want to talk about it. Take care dearie.

Anonymous

2y ago

Yes we had this conversation quite alot times already. I even cried. I told him how hurtful i feel when my husband wont have any intimacy with me yet enjoy watching other female naked online so frequently. I told him he can jus watch porn and masturbate all the time but i cant. I point out i need a healthy sex life. He did seems feeling bad and promised to improved it and quit that behaviour but he didnt managed to. But he didnt told me about it. He just continue to hide it until i found out again and it is even more hurtful. Bcus i have been waiting for him to show me his improvement. Yet he continue watching it without telling me he failed to quit. After confronting him again, he promise again.... And then few days later found out he downloaded another browser secretly to watch. Looks like there is no ending to this and there is no way to help him. It is very disappointing. I think seeking professional help is definitely the only way now and the last straw.. If you hav any recommenda

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