Hi After so many years of our marriage we do not have understanding for each other,we fight on small issues,now a day's he so depressed for certain reasons so he get frustrated and I also feels the same so we start fighting in front of our kids,i know this is not good but situations r like this,sometimes I feel I should leave him but than I think about my kids,I m so upset. he lives in his world I lives in my world how come we make our relationship good

Hi, You know these things do happen in a marriage irrespective of how many year you are into marriage. I am married for nine years and a while back, I had same issues cropping up. I thought may be this is the end of our relationship. We fought so much and at times on such frivolous things, also I felt that he did not care for me and tries to demean me all the time. It went so bad that I even thought of separating but things settled down as unknowingly as they had come up. I have a 6 year old daughter and I felt that even she is going to miss her father this way and our life as whole will get disturbed but I would still separate. But things settled down. I think have patience. There are times when none of the people in the partnership are in their right frame of mind or I would say they are dealing with their own individual problems and their inner struggles as a person, and not in the position to give their 100 percent to a relationship, and all such problem arise. You know how it happens in a marriage. If there is two days of non communication, either of the partner starts having a problem and misunderstandings start brewing in. I think, spend time with each other. Best is go for a holiday. Express your love, share your concerns, do activities together, like, go trekking, go for long walks, do camping, etc. and revive the lost bonding. It is just a phase, it will pass.

Hi, I suggest you talk to him right away. If you are feeling the brunt of your failing relationship then your husband too must be going through the same stress. Just figure out the reason for the problem first instead of reaching to conclusions. Talk to him and discuss the problem. Tell him how badly it is affecting your lives and the kids as well since they see you both fighting. Work out a plan for both of yourself and stick to it. Like, set things that you both will do to make the relationship work. I will share with you that when things go wrong between my husband and me then when we both talk, we set things for each other to do to make things work. Like, he will come home by 8, or I will not bring up his parents topic when he is home. Or avoid topics which can lead to confrontation. So, the main thing and the most important thing is to talk. You both speak about the things that bother you in the relationship and avoid doing those things. These things happen in all marriages and you must not give up if your husband otherwise is a good man and is not abusive and is just behaving the way he is because of circumstances or the gap between you two. I suggest, both of you talk and address the problem.

Hi I'm sorry to hear about your current situation and completely understand the hardships you must be facing right now, I believe the first and most important thing you can do is relax. Have patience. Communication is a very important part of any relationship and that's what you need to focus on. You both can start working on each others likes and dislikes..surprise each other when back from work..plan a dinner date together. Also, you need to let your husband know that we have our kids who look up to us and would always like to approach them with positive vibes and not negativity (avoid fights and arguments). The best advice I can give is..try being part of each others worlds again..know each others likes and dislikes and work on them accordingly.

i think both of you are stressed and not able to share your feelings properly with each other. the key here is communication. you both need to talk to each other openly, as it will avoid any emotions to get pent up and will avoid fights in front of the kids. you mentioned about leaving him, but have you really lost all love for him or do you feel like this only when you are angry? i know that it is important for the kids to have both the parents around, and i would again say try everything as much as you can, and try to connect with him again. if nothing works, visit a counselor and see what can be done. divorce should be the last option, but remember, once done, you can't rebuild the marriage

many times this happens with couples who have been married for long and have kids. i would suggest you try and take a break or a mini vacation just with your hubby if you can arrange for the kids to stay somewhere. it will do you guys a lot of good to switch off from everything and just focus on each other. i am sure you both still love each other, but just that in the busy lifestyle, both of you are tired and burning out.

I face similar issues as you. It has been so overwhelming for me lately. Im tired. After having kids, both parents can get worn out. It is indeed challenging having to manage so much at once. However, try to. Take a break. You and hubby are the pillars for the household. We need both, and cant have either one only. Please consider and weigh your pros and cons.

Don’t involve your kids in your fights. It is very traumatic for them. If both of you can’t see eye to eye and fight all the time, you are not sending a good message to your kids. You are teaching them that your kind of marriage is normal. Either you sit down and find ways to make it work or you need to make decision of not staying in the marriage anymore

I hope you try marriage counseling, and if the first counsellor doesn't work out give the second a try. It is hard to change from years of bad habits or some things you have tolerated for a long time. Professional third party help is great. Hope you find a solution, my parents fought like crazy growing up and I wish I could've divorced them!

Yes. Parenting is draining and tiring for both adults. It may and will take a toll on the adults too if the adults don't voice it out sometimes. bottling up the feeling will lead to even more arguments and disagreement. Have you all consider going for a short short trip without kids? Maybe just a 2D1N trip? to relax

my hub annoys me alot at times n mks me wonder if i need to be with this person for the rest of my life. are there any good in the relationship? if the gd outweighs the bad (of coz not condoning violence and blatant disrespect) try to see the good in him ..!